March 23, 2025 Essay: Shame
Is there any sense of shame in today’s world? Have we become so insensitive to the dark forces at work around us or to our own misdeeds that we refuse to be touched by the pangs of shame? Have we become incapable of acknowledging our personal sins or those of society? Perhaps that is why so few of us avail ourselves of the Sacrament of Reconciliation or speak out when we witness the willful malevolence of others. Without a healthy sense of shame, we deceive ourselves into thinking that there is nothing to be forgiven by God, that we are in control of our own destiny. Redemption becomes a meaningless concept because of our foolish self-righteousness.
We need to be reminded of the lessons of history if we are truly to pray the words of the Psalmist, “In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed, deliver me in Your righteousness.” (31:1).
On a far less scale, the ignominy of the Shoah and the pogroms of Russia from the last century has tragically reared its ugly head in equally fiendish ways in our generation. I think it is reasonable to ask whether we have become narcissists, sociopaths with no moral compass who refuse to respond to the needs of others and the voices that cry out for justice. Self-interest has driven us to forsake any recognition of shame both in our actions and inactions. Let us remind ourselves that such behavior will never be erased from history. In her poem Shame, Marion Strobel wrote,
Weeds that hide the fallen dead,
Time that nullifies a name,
Will not bury shame….
It will be seen no matter where
You bury it. In typhooned air
It will hang isolate and round….
Through mountain-snow, through grass,
Through ground
It will be seen….
The enduring legacy of shame, however, is not necessarily what defines someone. Rather, it is the lens through which we make our choices. Ignoring that lens only ensures a profligate life of immorality. Without a sense of contrition for shameful acts, it is impossible to ask for forgiveness; and without forgiveness, there is no redemption. To seek God’s forgiveness is to be anchored in an abiding trust in God’s mercy and love. With forgiveness, the shackles of self-delusion, unmitigated egoism, and the seductive allure of omnipotence are broken. The path of righteousness and decency will then more clearly lie before us.
During the Season of Lent we are invited to examine our consciences, to look to what we have done or what we have failed to do that ruptured our relationship with God, with one another, and with our own consciences. Do we have the moral integrity to acknowledge the shamefulness of past thoughts, words, and deeds? Equally important is a review of where we have ignored the pain and suffering being inflicted on the world by a maddening and malevolent torrent of reckless actions taken by feckless world leaders.
The promise of Easter gives us hope for the world. With contrite hearts, we look with confidence to the salvation offered to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Let our prayer be that of the psalmist, “A contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not spurn.” (51:19b).
— Dennis J. Yesalonia, S.J., Pastor