April 6th Essay: A Vocational Journey

In my mid-20s, I had everything I could have possibly imagined. It was basically my dream life of working in corporate sports marketing, living in my own rent-controlled apartment, and making the rounds where my friends bartended. But I noticed a recurring feeling that seemed to happen each week after the Sunday evening Mass at Epiphany Parish.

What was it? I wanted to be like the priest up in the sanctuary. I didn’t know that priest, but I thought about the two people in my life who lived their lives with meaning, purpose, and joy—both Jesuits: my uncle, Fr. Jim Dolan, SJ, and Fr. Tim Brown, SJ, my Jesuit class moderator and business law professor at Loyola University Maryland.

I decided to do something that Lent that I feared. In Fr. James Martin’s book, In Good Company, I read about how Jesuit novices in their first year serve as hospital orderlies. When I saw a bulletin ad for volunteers needed at Cabrini Nursing Home in the East Village, I thought that could possibly be a way for me to think more about the Jesuits, since everything else in my life wasn’t necessarily leading me down the path of a Jesuit vocation.

Little by little, that service—attending Saturday morning Mass with nursing home residents—became part of my routine. After a detour to a Hamptons share house and training for the New York City Marathon that fall, I found myself the next Lent more seriously considering the Jesuits. By then, I was no longer living in Stuyvesant Town—my four years of rent control were over. I had moved with two roommates to 95th Street and started attending Mass at St. Ignatius.

Almost parallel to quietly beginning Jesuit discernment, I also got more involved in the parish. I returned to the Sacrament of Reconciliation after a long time, with the newly ordained Fr. George Witt, SJ. When I shared my vocation journey with the pastor, Fr. Gerry Blaszczak, SJ, he said, “I’m going to put you to work!” and I became a lector, a Eucharistic minister, and more active in Ignatian Young Adults, helping with spirituality programming. Looking back, I see that period as my own “hidden life,” much like Jesus’ years before his public ministry—a time of growth and waiting as my call became clearer.

Now, after almost 17 years as a Jesuit, I find myself living in New York City again. My formation brought me to Syracuse, Chicago, Boston, and South Africa. I taught and served at high schools in Micronesia, Boston, and Washington, D.C. Now I work in the USA East Province office on 83rd Street as the Provincial Assistant and Director of Vocations, while living at the Xavier Jesuit Community on 16th Street.

On the last leg of my commute from the 86th Street subway station to my office, I look at the façade of St. Ignatius and think back to all the people who encouraged me during my time here. Marissa Blackett, who, during a parish capital campaign, noticed me and asked if I had ever considered becoming a priest. I was encouraged by the witness and friendship of Carlos Cuartas. The priests at St. Ignatius—Fr. Bergen, Fr. Witt, Fr. Blaszczak—their inspiring homilies and their willingness to let young adults get involved helped confirm my next steps.

When I first came back and celebrated the 7:30 PM Mass—the one where I often found myself in the pews—I was filled with gratitude, praying once again with the parish community who welcomed me and formed me.

So many young people pass through these doors. Give them a mission. If you notice a good quality in them that would make them a good Jesuit brother, priest, religious sister, or diocesan priest—tell them. One of the best things we can do if we want vocations in the Church is to notice and invite. It means so much to a young person when an adult sees something in them and shares it with them.

We might be afraid to invite. Jesus wasn’t. He invited all sorts of people to come, follow him. St. Ignatius did too. Thus, Saint Peter Faber and Saint Francis Xavier. Marissa and Carlos weren’t afraid to invite the young man they noticed around the parish.

I’m consoled—especially during this Jubilee Year of Hope—to journey once again with such faithful pilgrims.

Sincerely,
Fr. Patrick Nolan, SJ

If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about the Jesuit life of mission, community, and prayer, please visit: BeAJesuit.org.