May 10, 2026 Essay: “Be Good” – A Mother’s Day Reflection
“Always remember the two words – be good.” This was my great-aunt Elsie’s sign-off at the end of every visit, every phone call, every conversation. Her trademark saying called forth what was best in me, what was most generous, most kind, most honest, most Christ-like. She was one of the many women who graced my life and loved me into the person I am today, who cared for me with nurturing, encouragement, wisdom, and devotion. Recalling her on this Mother’s Day, I am grateful for all the women, though they might not be biological mothers, who envelop us with motherly love.
My aunt Elsie was raised in a Hungarian Catholic family. She considered a vocation to the convent, but her father—my great-grandfather—always skeptical of church authority, would not permit it. My aunt found ways, however, to live out her calling—she adopted simple habits, never married, and dedicated her life to family, friends, and community. She made herself a “safe space,” a nurturing presence, a manifestation of loving kindness, encouraging all of us to develop our gifts.
Aunt Elsie shepherded me toward growth by gently introducing new experiences while providing a safe foundation. I recall, for example, our annual “Black Friday” adventures. The day after Thanksgiving was always a school holiday, so it became a tradition for the two of us to make a public transportation odyssey. We’d catch a bus a block from the house she shared with my grandmother in Milmont Park, Pennsylvania, then transfer to a trolley at 69th St. in Philadelphia for a ride to Media, another Philly suburb, for lunch. For a little boy who attended a private Catholic Academy in Bryn Mawr on the storied “Main Line,” this adventure was wonderfully eye-opening. She took me out of my comfort zone as we rubbed shoulders with people who didn’t look like me and passed through neighborhoods that didn’t feel like mine. I don’t know that it was her intention, but she was quietly instilling in me the confidence to make journeys into the unknown. To this day, when I am in a new city, feeling some anxiety about taking a bus or train via an unfamiliar route to an unfamiliar destination, I think of my aunt and those Friday adventures so many years ago.
Teaching me how to pray was among the greatest gifts she gave me, and I learned by simply watching her. Every morning, she would sit quietly in her “prayer chair” as the day began. Stationing herself by the window to catch the morning light, she thumbed her rosary or silently read from prayer books. Aunt Elsie was tithing time to God, role-modeling for me what it looks like to have a spiritual discipline, a way of showing up with God, day after day, year after year. Inspired by her, I still begin each day with a Hail Mary upon waking as a way of saying “Yes!” to the new day, to God’s call to be fruitful in whatever way I can as the day unfolds.
Aunt Elsie died nearly 20 years ago, and I can only thank her now by the prayers that I send up through the communion of saints. Although she never bore children, Aunt Elsie became a mother in the deepest sense of the word. And so this Mother’s Day, in her honor, I thank all those, whether mothers to children or not, who have loved us into being who we are today, who bring out the best in us, and who continue to sustain us with their love, showing us by the generous way they live their lives what it is to “be good”, as my beloved aunt so often said. Thank you, mothers, may God richly bless you!
— Brian Pinter, Pastoral Associate